The Secret History of New Jersey
It is believed by some
that the apostle Paul
sowed the seeds
of the first
jug handle
when he wrote
in his much disputed
and in some traffic circles
deeply discredited
second epistle
to the Colonians that
all turns,
even those to the left
should indeed begin
from the lane of right.
This was written
during the brief reign
of the vastly underappreciated
Emperor Secaucus,
who passed through
the town now bearing his name
to review his troops
when the Roman Empire
sprawled its most westward
after conquering the last
Greek diner
located on
the outskirts
of Sparta.
After that, history unfurled
pretty much as reported
except that
nearly a millenium
after Paul’s letter
to the Leonians
Vikings started
to settle
Cranfjord,
while to the south
Vandalized villagers
commemorated their plight by
building a bridge proclaiming:
Trenton Makes The World Takes.
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